Do any of you read The Bloggess? I love her stuff - she's crazy, but in a delightful, humorous, sarcastic way. Perfect! Her latest weekly wrap-up (normally titled "Shit-I-Did-While-I-Wasn't-Here") included a link to a youtube video of a lecture done by Daniel Pink (author of "A Whole New Mind") about desire in the workplace. No, not that kind of desire. The regular non-pervy kind. Or was it about drive in the workplace? I don't remember. At any rate, I always click on the links that The Bloggess has, she's never steered me wrong, and this link was really interesting. I think. I couldn't really follow what he was saying because I was watching the hand drawing and writing what he was saying. It's amazingly fascinating. How can people do this?!? I know I joke about this, but I really can't draw or cut a straight line. Being talented enough to draw a picture, no matter how rudimentary, where anyone can identify a story or objects in it is totally amazing to me - this is beyond amazing. You should totally watch it just for the sake of watching it - I have no idea what he says.
Hang on, I have to run some tomato paste over to my neighbors' house, I'll be right back.
OK, I'm back. I was over there for over an hour - sheesh! She took a mental health day from work and we yapped while she made dinner and chopped veggies. All I kept thinking was "why don't I effing do this stuff for myself?!?" and staring at the clock. Not in a bad way, but you know, cuz I've got stuff at home that I need to avoid doing.
Speaking of, I should probably turn my cell/work phone on for the day, I've been avoiding it. Here goes... whew! Only one message, and it's from a friend. A nice change.
You know, after being at my neighbors' house (they have a totally new, revamped kitchen that I'm endlessly jealous of) I realized part of why I like their kitchen so much. Aside from the fact that it's beautiful, shiny, useful and has things in it that work like they're supposed to, that is. I like it because it's not filled with useless crap, and it's not treated like a giant storage area - it feels like it has life in it. Does that make sense? Mine feels dull, dead, old, used-up, and cluttered like crazy. So does most of my house, to be honest, but doesn't that really say something about my life and how I live it? Now I feel like dropping whatever I had planned on doing, pulling my big garbage can up from the alley and just start pitching shit in there. (I'd also like to do that to my office/dining room, but I need to know what I'm tossing before I toss it.) Maybe I'm entering a "pitch it" phase. Hm.
Having had more "time off" this last week (read that as working from home and not at job #1, instead of actual time spent not working) has been so eye-opening and refreshing in so many ways it's scary. I spend so little time here at home during daylight hours, no matter what day of the week it is. I do so little actual work for job #2 (instead mostly obsessively thinking about it and panicking about working is what I do). I do even littler work for this house - and even littler work for myself. I have NO IDEA how I expect myself to remember anything at all because all I do is mentally jump around like a caffeinated little dog all the time, and all of the work that I'm doing is for someone elses' benefit. I need to re-train myself in how to have one constant thought process - constant interruptions are the norm, no matter what I'm doing. Bad. Very bad.
Also, I've been thinking about that Asian saying/thought/truth/whatever about how they don't eat leftovers because it's dead food, how do you expect to feel alive if all you eat are dead things? All I eat are "dead" things. Couldn't tell you the last time I actually cooked a meal - maybe January? Let's say January for the sake of argument, it feels about right. Not cooking a meal (no matter how small and easy, I've barely scrambled an egg) in 5 months? Fuck. Not good. Really not good. Not good at all. Oh, pardon me while I eat leftover pizza and type this. See? What the hell has happened to me? How did I lose my way? I've stopped being a regular person and am now some kind of Scattered Crazy Work Robot that masquerades as a responsible adult. Damn.
Hey, this is good pizza.
Alright, I need to step away from the computer for 10 seconds altogether, so I'm going to go. And I won't watch TV, I promise. I'll maybe even do something semi-productive like laundry or sorting through a stack of paper. Or return the work phone call I just ignored. Or take a nap. Gee, which one sounds most appealing? What a toughie....
Hope you're all doing well, and I'll try and stop back again soon.
